Oh, ya'll LIKE IT, like it?
Updated: Jan 27, 2019
Yeah. Ya'll fuck with me! Thank you all sooooooo much for even taking the time to read my shit and give me feedback and more ideas. I feel really good and I'm so excited to talk more shit on this blizzogggggg. Surprisingly, I asked for feedback on topics, layout, etc. and I got a lot of transparent responses which helped a ton. I have a tendency not to follow through with things and now that I have some ideas written down and a lot of inspiration, I feel like the rest will be easy. The goal right now is to post every week. I'm committing to at least one post, but I'd love to do two. One more in depth post and another post on a lighter subject. So make sure you subscribe and shit. All my responses came from my friends so that's exactly what this post is about - Friends.
During my 20 somethings I've learned a hell of a lot about what friendship is, the different levels of it and which ones to keep close to your heart. When Drake said "No New Friends," I FELT THAT SHIT. Not because I don't want to meet new people, but because as an adult there are so many different concepts about friendship and not everyone is going to take is as lightly or seriously as you do.
I believe friends become your chosen family over time. Friends, to me, are the people you go to with the real deep shit that you may not be able to talk to your family about. Lesson: NOT ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE BUILT FOR THE DEEP SHIT. I have had the hardest time learning this. One thing I tend to do is give too much up front in both friendships and relationships. I've always been a "trust people until they give you a reason not to," and not a "make them earn it" type of person. Not now though, not here at 29. No ma'am.
Something that often gets me into piles of avoidable bullshit is getting too deep into my friends business and taking their decisions that have nothing to do with me, personally. This is not for any reason other than me wanting the best for them. I know, I know, people have to make their own mistakes. But BIIITTCCCHHHH the signs are RIGHT THERE. Big, bright, red ass signs and your simple ass just gonna sit there and act blind, huh? *rolls eyes* This has caused me to lose a lot of friendships throughout my 20 Somethings, because I needed to learn how to mind my got damn business.
It's hard for me to see my friends make decisions that I don't necessarily agree with or do things that are morally wrong (in my opinion). I'm not perfect and I'm sure I do shit that gets on their nerves as well...well, I know I do - but whatever, ya'll love me! Anyways, it just sucks when I can see the potential outcome of the situation and they can't. I'm sure this is the case for a lot of women, because we tend to be intertwined in each other's shit a lot. Recently, a few of my friends have made decisions that have made me question their moral integrity as well as their got damn sanity. This lead me to actually sit and think before I gave my opinion. Lesson: THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK. Ask yourself "does this have anything to do with me?" If not, keep it moving. Let them live. Let your friends vent. If they ask for your opinion, give it - in this instance they should know you well enough to know your personality and how your advice will come across. If/when they get offended, its more than likely because they didn't want to hear what you had to say and wanted you to agree with them (its okay, I do it too).
There is LEVELS to this friendship shit. Especially in your 20 somethings. These are your evolution years. People grow apart simply because your views change. You experience different things and that is inevitable. You're not the same person you were when you were 19 and if you are, that's an issue! You're being exposed to a lot for the first time and running into plenty of situations you've never encountered.
A lot of the shit will be super confusing and you're going to want to vent and gain advice about which path to take. Watch who you vent to. Keep some things internal until you know you can trust people. How do you know? Time. Loyalty. Dassit. Have you ever had someone throw personal information in your face after you've told them? Word? Me too. Filter out those people that only have your back to your face. It's perfectly okay to separate your friends that gossip too much from your friends that you can discuss struggles with. Get yourself a group of friends to travel with if your day one's don't travel. If you love a particular activity and your friends look at you like you're crazy - find some friends that like that thing and experience that. Don't let anyone hold you back, but you don't have to cut them off. Being different doesn't mean you aren't friends! It simply means your interests have changed, and due to that, the level of friendship may change as well.
I know a lot of people hate to hear this but the friendships that you lose in your 20 somethings all served a purpose. Think back to one friendship that you had - what would you do different? Implement that going forward and watch all your friendships/relationships have different outcomes. It doesn't mean everyone you meet is supposed to be your bestie, bitch, relax. Some people are seasonal. They come in, serve a purpose and dip. It may take years, it may be short lived, you can never know. You are this person for other people too. So when your season is up, don't be so hard on yourself. It happens. Not everyone can go with you.
My friends are lit. Again, my chosen family. If we aren't as close as we once were, no love is lost. It just means we're growing up. Not necessarily apart, but things are changing. One thing about me is that my loyalty does not waiver. If I fuck with you, that's it and that's all.
Peep in the photo gallery some of the initial reactions from me sending my blog to my friends! I cropped out the names because most of them don't have the good sense the good Lord gave them.